Sometimes my heart is on the edge.
At a distance from God.
Distant from myself, from others.
I have drifted there,
Made choices that brought me there,
Bear wounds that have driven me there.
It is next to impossible
To hear the Word
That would console, convert and transform.
Like Israel in Egypt
Unable to hear the Word of Exodus,
So crushed was their spirit
So cruel their bondage. (Exodus 6:12)
And it is dry, shallow, hard as rock.
Dry from unprayed hours,
The aridity of sin.
Vain shallow pursuits.
The hard shell of love gone sour.
It is time to break up fallow ground.
Take from me, I pray, the heart of stone
As You have promised
And give me a heart of flesh instead.
There are thorns too.
Brambles and briars that take over
Untended ground at an alarming rate.
Strangling, stifling all growth.
Worries, concerns, burdens.
They compass me about like bees,
Blaze like fire.
I am hard-pressed and falling.
But the Lord comes to my help (Psalm 118).
He guides me to the centre,
Garden of the soul,
Dug, turned over, manured
And ready for the planting.
It is rained upon, softened
By Mercy, justice, integrity,
Truth, peace and tender faithful love.
The Hesed of God.
Hineni. Here I am. I am ready.
Let it be done to me according to Your Word.